Many of us struggle with what to say at a funeral. Often, we feel like our words of sympathy aren't enough and nosotros can't find the perfect matter to say that somehow makes everything meliorate. The reality is that there is no one right thing to say and no magic words that will ease someone'south grief. The most important words to say at a funeral are ones that are honest, kind, and compassionate.

What to Say at a Funeral to Family Members

If you know the family unit of the deceased, a sympathetic hug is often welcome. You may have several opportunities to speak to the family of the deceased at the funeral or during a visitation, viewing, or reception. Many people are unsure of what to say at a funeral service or when to speak to them. The visitation, whether held at the funeral home or in the family's home, is a good time to express your condolences. During the funeral itself, it's best to wait until afterwards the service to speak to the family, unless they are greeting people beforehand.

If yous don't know the family well, exist sure to introduce yourself and explain how you know the deceased. Keep your condolences brief and sincere, keeping in mind that other people are probably waiting to speak the family as well. Knowing what to say at a funeral service can exist hard, simply remember that the human activity of speaking to the family unit is often as of import as what you say. Speak honestly and from the heart, every bit well as with kindness.

Consider incorporating the following phrases when deciding what to say at a funeral:

  • "I'm then sorry about your loss. [The deceased] was a good person and they'll be very missed."
  • "Please have my deepest condolences for your loss."
  • "[The deceased] was a wonderful person and I'll miss them very much."
  • "My name is [your name] and I worked with [the deceased] for several years. They were a great coworker and contributed a lot to the company and our squad. They will be sorely missed."

You may likewise want to share a happy story or memory about the deceased simply call up to keep information technology concise and brief.

What Not to Say At a Funeral

Remember that everyone grieves differently, and yous may non really know the human relationship that the family had with the deceased. Appropriate words to say at a funeral should never include sentence. A funeral is not the time for negative comments to the family, so save the jokes and embarrassing stories for another time.

Avoid the post-obit types of statements:

  • Don't tell the family that they'll get over their grief with time.
  • Don't tell a husband or wife that they'll meet someone else.
  • Avert mentioning any negative interactions that you had with the deceased.
  • Never mention information technology if a family member isn't crying or doesn't seem distressing. People grieve in dissimilar means.
  • Don't ask about how the person died.

The chief point is that you lot should always exist respectful in what you say during a funeral. Be kind and avert difficult topics. Fifty-fifty if you lot had a challenging relationship with the deceased or his or her family, go out all those negative thoughts at home.

Planning a Eulogy - What to Say When Speaking at a Funeral

If you're invited to give a eulogy at a funeral, it is important to prepare in advance. Take some time before the service and brainstorm what yous desire to say – think nearly favorite memories of the deceased, what effect they had on your life, and how you will call back them. Information technology's best to focus on one or two main points in your spoken language to create a cohesive eulogy. Think of a few words that describe the person and tell stories that illustrate those points. You might focus on a story that illustrates the person's generosity, for case, or their favorite hobbies or compassion.

In that location's nothing wrong with sharing a fun or happy story during the eulogy, especially if it highlights the person's sense of sense of humour or personality. Exit out anything also embarrassing, however, and avert any negativity. You'll also desire to consider how long the eulogy should be. If several people are speaking, you'll need to keep your remarks shorter, and so aim for about 5 minutes, unless yous've been asked to speak longer.

Once you've written your voice communication, don't forget to exercise. This will help you exist more comfortable on the 24-hour interval of the funeral. Proceed your notes with you or your full spoken communication written out in case you're overcome with emotion. Always remember to exhale – speaking honestly, kindly, and from the heart is what'due south most important, and nobody will notice y'all if you need to pause to gather yourself.

What to Say if Invited to Speak at a Funeral

In improver to a formal eulogy, guests are sometimes invited to stand during a funeral service and say a few words or share a story about the deceased. If you practice determine to speak, information technology's adept to accept a few ideas of what to say at the funeral service. Continue your words brief, clear, and specific. As previously mentioned, the funeral is not the fourth dimension to share off-color jokes or an embarrassing story. Talk about how much you'll miss the deceased and how much the person meant to you. You may want to share a short story about an accomplishment or kind act that you lot witnessed, but proceed your remarks to just a minute or two.

For more data about the unlike types of funeral services and expectations, read Funeral Visitation and Wake Etiquette Tips.